The Skeptical lover

As is life... we keep falling in and out of love... but what do you do when you just tend to keep falling more in love and can't get back up again... I am the skeptical lover who wants love but can't handle the truth... the one who wants to be there as a friend but can't seem to be just a friend... welcome to my world of relationships which is no less than a power play in a jungle... My jungle where I thought I was the Lion and ruled all when the perfect Lioness walked in only to prove me wrong not once not twice but for years at a row...

My current ex as I would like to call her and no my baby in India you are not my current ex you are just an ex... My current ex is a girl that I fell madly in love with and when that love was over and we tried to move on she just popped up all the time like a manhole in Delhi in the rainy season and what happens when one gets into a manhole unsuspectingly suspecting a manhole either way we get hurt...

Its funny because we know the road and we go through that route everytime but when it comes to the rainy season... we just tend to be idiots we know its there somewhere but somehow carefully we fall into it only to injure our selves either badly or just stop out selves few inches before it but either way we know that we have already got wet in the rain... that is the story of love in my non exsistent love life...

I love and I love like a maniac I do not see right and wrong I do not rationalize neither do I look for validity of the love... Like the person that I am and just the way that I like films I feel love should be larger than life because that is what brings the world around... I do not believe in mediocre love never have believed in that lifestyle either I would do anything for love... but Love needs to stop hurting me because I know that sooner or later I will reach a point when I will stop believing in it. As far as I have known myself to be ... I always thought that the only reason my relationships didn't work out was on the major part was because of me and to a certain extent with a lot of people it is true... but sometimes I think is it always necessary to blame self when it doesn't work out... there are reasons to reasons...

I remember my first girlfriend... we are naive stupid but very much in love... then she got smart said that this is wrong and moved on... I wish being gay would be simple and heart-break proof but just like any relationship this is hard and hell and especially in todays time where nothing lasts ever... love has proved to be one that takes the cake on things that don't last list of mine followed very closely by money... :)

But then again... after being part of the Drama many a times just creating the drama... crying laughing.. fighting... and everything... I still feel that have my girl around... just somewhere... and she has yet to see it ... I see it... I see a future which is incredible... first of its kind filled with love pride and family... now all I need for this dream of mine to come true is a Girl( first) and secondly a girl who is not afraid to hold my hand and not afraid to say that she is in a relationship with me...

All I ever wanted was to love without fear... and I know it will happen and for that I need a fearless girl who I can love enough to have faith that this world is fine.

I think we underestimate the people around us the world around us... I truly believe even though I am a skeptic at times... but I know the world will embrace the truth with open arms...